Poor listening behaviors: Rehearsing next point and evaluating others’ point

Good listening skills demonstrate an "I care about you" attitude. Good listening skills can be one of the best gifts you can give people you care about!

The Key to Listening:

• To gain understanding before moving into action.
• Putting your own concerns on hold temporarily.

The five listening skills include:

• Attend
• Invite
• Acknowledge
• Ask
• Summarize

Summarizing is the skill that ensures accuracy! If you can accurately summarize then you’ve probably mastered the other listening skills.

To summarize:

1. Repeat, in your own words, your partner’s points. Don’t add or subtract.
2. Watch for your partner’s response for accuracy.
3. Ask for confirmation of clarification if uncertain.

Exercise:

In the space below write one example of a conversation when you felt like your spouse practiced good listening skills and one example when good listening skills were not used. You may want to dialogue (on the mat if you have one) and practice your summarizing skills.